


Dirty Laundry

by ReyDoneGoofed



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Not Beta Read, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony has a blog
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:54:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26870002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReyDoneGoofed/pseuds/ReyDoneGoofed
Summary: //TW: Cheating, self-destruction, self-harm, Uncaring whether one lives or dies. Some dark shit layered with comedy and sarcasm so thick you might miss some of it. Not OT3, I know I usually go for that but not this time it's just sad shit boyos.//Dirty Laundry is a fic set as a blog written by Tony to confess everything that he's kept inside and feels any strong emotion about. His blog is titled Dirty Laundry and he's set it up so that nobody really knows who he is even though he does use names. His audience is pretty much you, a person who when scrolling on Tumblr found a diary blog and decided to give a read for the drama of it. Each chapter is going to be a collection of posts that he's made as well as a behind the scenes of the blog narrative into what's actually happening in his life. The first chapter is his pinned top blog post titled: Welcome to my blog, the thing that people will see first when reading through his blog.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Kudos: 6





	Dirty Laundry

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo everyone, here's me feeling depressed again and using fictional characters to express that, woot woot. Stay healthy everyone, I'm high on Bang Radical Skadattle and my brain is melting, but we Gucci. This is gonna be a rough one btw.

-If you've ever hung out with your boyfriend and his best friend who you happen to be cheating on your boyfriend with, then you understand my situation here. It’s fucking _awkward_. Look, I’m not gonna lie to you and say something like ‘oh we just have a shitty relationship’ or something equally as dumb because that would be a lie. Steve’s absolutely perfect, a goddamn wonderful delight of a human being. ‘But Tony… why are you cheating on him then?” Funny you asked… 

I... don't know.

I wish I wasn't doing this to him but I can't stop. Everythings fine, my newest project was, of course, accepted by the board, Steve finally is going to graduate with an art degree soon, I actually have friends who aren't just using me, Bucky’s finally seeking some help for all of his PTSD, life is good- great even. But you see, that's the issue, the moment life starts going well and looking up; I immediately crash into the worst kind of lows that have me scrabbling to lock up the liquor and throw away the key before I completely lose any sense of self-restraint, hence the cheating. I’m an impulsive bastard who can't help but ruin his own life, sue me… Don't actually sue me, that was a joke, not that you'd get very far, I have a great pr team and set of lawyers. You get the point.

So yeah, I’m cheating on my loving boyfriend with the only family that he has left because I’m a terrible no-good piece of trash… Fuck. I guess dad was wrong- or right- It really depends on the state of sobriety. Sober dad said I was his greatest creation; fucking bullshit. Drunk dad said I was his life's ruin; probably at least semi-true. The worst part is that I cant find it in me to really care, I mean yeah after we fuck every time, I spiraled into a dark hole that I find it increasingly difficult to pull myself out of but it’s fine. Everything is fine. I can handle this. My brain is constantly pulling me in twenty different directions but I can handle it. At least until I can't.

I know this’ll definitely blow up in my face eventually but I never once claimed to be a good man. It’s always been public information that I’m a playboy and hard to trust, my party habits have never been a secret. My dating history has never once been covered up, abbreviated maybe but I’ve never hidden anything. I need a drink.

Steve is an angel, he’s beautiful and nearly perfect. I put too much stock in him forgiving me when he eventually finds out, he probably won't ever speak to me again but that's okay, I’m confident my silver tongue can convince him otherwise. Damn, that's conceded. What is that called when you know you’re doing something stupid that you shouldn’t be but you physically cannot bring yourself to stop? Reminds me of those stupid help programs for addicts. I am an addict, addicted to chaos, and ruining my own reputation that I built up so carefully. I’m addicted to anything that'll boost my serotonin levels for however long it lasts. I’m a junkie hell-bent on getting my next fix even if I did give up drinking for Steve, I’m still a fucking addict.

I wonder if he knows how fucked in the head I am. Maybe I should talk to somebody about this, but who would I talk to? Bucky? Hell no. One of our friends? Yeah, like they'd keep my secret. They would call up Steve the moment I was out of earshot and tell him everything. So, I can't tell anyone. Which is why I’m telling you. Someone anonymous who doesn't know me, who doesn't know my last name, someone who won’t threaten to expose this to the board because I can easily say this was all posted by some random person on the internet trying to destroy my reputation. I could bury you.

I’m an impulsive bastard who lives his life lying to every single person he knows. Welcome to my blog.-

_-Tony_

**Author's Note:**

> This one prolly won't end in a happy note but eh we'll see. Hope yall liked even though its messy as hell but that's humans and their human mistakes. Leave a comment and/or a Kudo please and thank you it makes me happy if even for a small moment.


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